(Re)Finding our own path
by Bette0Porter
Summary: I've written this story thinking about it as a 'One-shot', but since someone asked me to continue it, I decided to write something about their 'reconnection-affair' and divide it in more chapter.
1. Prologue

**(Re)Finding our own path**  
Prologue - June, 27 2013 (episodes 5.05 and 5.06)

That night was the night when both of them finally faced the truth about their real feelings but didn't admitted it until the day after. At the party Tina had the courage to ask Bette about her feelings for Jodie. Somehow that night, the two of them managed to be disonest with one another and most of all with themselves.

«Are you sorry that it did?» Bette asked, talking about the kiss they shared some nights before at the She Bar.  
«Yes, I am.»  
«Are you in love with Jodie?» Tina asked, hoping in a negative response.  
«Yes, I am.»

Two identical replies. Both so untrue.  
The former couple didn't know how to deal with what they were feeling at that moment. Something so strong and at the same time so scary. Scary because none of them knew if the other one was feeling exactly the same way. So the logical conclusion was to lie and pretend like nothing happened.  
Plus there was a third person: Jodie. Tina didn't want to be the one to split them up. She has been there. She knew how it feels to be betrayed.  
But it was so damn difficult.  
How can you possible deny the love for your soulmate?

After that last reply, Tina lost any support in her legs. She felt her own world and hopes fall apart. She lost her love. She lost Bette.  
That hurt. Watching her, holding hands with another woman.  
It mostly hurt the fact that the one who decided to leave Bette, back in the day, had been her. '_Sometimes I think I made a mistake_'. That's what she said several days before. Before Jodie came in and saw Bette and her sharing a light kiss. She felt her own heart skip a beat. She really lost her.

The only thing she managed to do, after that little conversation, at the party was to go back inside. Not able to walk and stand up on her own legs she sat down for a few minutes then decided to lose herself joining her friends that were dancing and singing. Those pot brownies Shane made were having effect. She found herself dancing and singing as well. No more Bette in her thoughts until they made their way out and approached the pool.  
«That used to my pool» she whined.  
Everything that night was able to bring Bette in her head.

The brunette was laying down, in her bed.  
She couldn't sleep.  
The screams and music from the party were too loud. She picked up the phone and made a noise complaint.  
But her thoughts, that night, were louder. What was that? There was something filling her head. Something about Tina that couldn't make its way out of her mind.  
'_What if we weren't really finished?_' She started asking herself. Thinking about Tina always gave her a feeling of peace and love. But at the same time, she didn't like what she was becoming. Again. She didn't want to fool around someone's back, again.  
This time it was different though.  
This time that wasn't just something about sex. It was love.  
The love of her life. That love that never disappeared.  
When she cheated on Tina with the carpenter, she was lost. She lost her path. That made her to break Tina's trust. This night, she lost herself, again. But this one led her onto the right path. The one she always dreamed to share with Tina.

Bette's thoughts broke as she heard the front door open. She thought for a few seconds that if things wouldn't have not fallen apart, the one to open that door could have been Tina. Sadly that couldn't be possible.  
She exited the room and made her way to the kitchen. She wanted to bring back the conversation about the 'Helena clone' with Jodie. But her present 'lover' said something that shocked Bette.

«Tina got _really drunk_.»

The brunette stood ther. With an expression of shock written on her face. Looking at that beautiful blonde who always took her breathe away. Tina was there. On the couch. Sleeping. She knew her former love drank herself to forget what had been said just a few hours before.  
Her expression turned in a sad one.  
Jodie led into the bedroom while Bette stared at Tina one more time. The love in her eyes couldn't be hidden.  
She loved her. She always loved that woman.  
And she knew, now, that Tina loved her as well.  
They belonged together and they always have.  
After that, she entered the bedroom and layed down. Her thoughts louder than ever. She was sharing the bed with Jodie. But it wasn't feeling right. The one she wanted, and she always wanted, to share the bed with was sleeping on the couch.  
She was there. In the same house.  
The house that has been their 'home' for almost eight years.  
The house that they wanted to be their 'home' forever.  
Maybe it wasn't too late, after all.

The morning after, Tina found herself sleeping on the couch.  
She couldn't remember much.  
She sat up after she realized where she was.

«Fuck!» she uttered. Holding her head between her hands.  
«Take this» Bette handed some pills and a glass of water.  
«Thanks» Tina said. She was still puzzled. She couldn't remember how she landed there. «Wh- Why am I here?»  
«You got drunk» Bette chuckled. «Jodie said you wasn't able to drive so she took you here»  
«God, I'm so ashamed» she left herself fall back on the couch. Her hands covering her face.  
«It's unusual, you know? You never lose control this way» Bette smiled. «It's kinda funny»  
Tina smiled as well. «Yeah... Well it's less funnier when you wake up the next day»  
Bette couldn't help but thinking about how beautiful she was. Without any make up on. So cute but at the same time so sexy. «Listen, I have to run at work. But you can stay here as long as you want, okay? Fell free to use the shower if you need» Bette said nicely. Her heart beating faster. «There are some fresh clothes in our —» she cutted herself before finishing the sentence. «..._the_ bedroom»  
Tina smiled again. She noticed Bette's 'word-stumble'. «Okay, thanks. I'm leaving any time soon, anyway. I have some paperwork to do, so...»  
«Sure» Bette approached the front door. «Angie is with Kit. She wanted to bring her to Disneyland. They're going to be here around seven»  
«Fine, I'll be here to pick her up then.»  
There was an awkward silence for several seconds. They spent them looking in each other's eyes. Then Bette decided to break the silence.  
«Okay, huh... » the desire to get closer and kiss her goodbye was stronger than ever. But she fought the feeling and opened the door. «See you later!»  
Tina couldn't help but smile at the memory of Bette saluting her in the morning before getting to work. Even if there wasn't the physical closeness they usually had in the past, it just felt so right. «Bye, Bette»

Tina decided to do as Bette suggested. She headed to the bedroom. The one that Bette and she shared for so many years.  
Lot of things they lived in that room. Love making. Tender and lovely love making. Cuddles. Laughters.  
The fight after the affair...  
That was excrutiating. But somehow, all the best moments lived there were able to blur that awful moment. It was the only bad thing happenend there after all. The rest had been just perfect.  
Stangind there, in the bedroom -_their_ bedroom- brought a world of memories.  
She missed all that.  
After several minutes, she led into the bathroom and took a shower. A tear escaped from her eye. She spent another bunch of minutes at the house before leaving.

It was five in the afternoon when Bette made her way back home. She made herself comfortable changing her clothes and led into the kitchen ready to prepare Angie's dinner. She was chopping some vegetables when she heard a light knock against the fridge.  
«Can I come in?»  
«Hey» Bette was incredibly surprised of seeing her.  
Tina was standing there. She left herself enter into the house throught the backyard door.  
Then brunette added: «Kit and angie, they're not going to be back  
from Anaheim for a couple of hours.»  
«I came early» there was a little silence before she spoke again. «I hope you don't mind»  
Bette smiled. Her smile lighted up the whole kitchen. «No... It's fine» she said with a cheerfulness in her voice. She got close the stoves to put some vegetables in the pan.  
The blonde approached the counter, «Are you having a dinner party or something?»  
Her former love laughed and looked at Tina. «No, it's just for Angie. I wanted to feed her before you got here. I told Kit not to let her eat a lot of crap at Disneyland.» she said.  
«Yeah, you're right» Tina chuckled.  
Bette turned to look back at Tina again and smiled.  
Tina got closer, admiring the dish Bette was cooking. «That looks are you making?»  
Both of them exchanged another look. «Ah, it's just... Stir-Fried chicken  
and vegetables... noodles» Bette looked back at the stoves and licked her own lip.  
«It smells amazing» Tina admitted in a flirting tone.  
Another awkward silence.  
The beautiful dean gave her another glance and smiled.  
Tina laughed nervously.  
«Did Jodie teach you how to cook? I hear she's a great cook.»  
«Uh, actually, no. I taught myself. I sometimes cook for me and Angie when we're alone. It makes me feel like we're, you know, like a family» Bette smiled.  
Tina looked down, thinking about how wonderful it would be sitting at the table with her and Angie.  
«I'll have to cook for you sometime» those words automatically came out from Bette's mouth at the thought of the word 'family'.  
Bette made her way to the counter and Tina turned around to look at her.  
Her heart beating faster. She stared at the ground.  
The brunette was chopping another bunch of vegetables when she heard Tina's calling her name.  
«Bette...»  
The mocha-skinned immediately stopped herself. Her heart skipped a beat.  
«Turn around.»  
The woman slowly did as she was requested. Her heartbeat couldn't slow down. She felt like her heart was going to pop out her chest hourly.  
She didn't say anything. Looking into Tina's eyes. She never felt so powerless in front of her. Her legs were like jelly.  
«Look, I know that you don't wanna hurt Jodie»  
Bette swallowed, «No, I don't».

Both of them stared at each other for a little while, then Tina got closer and kissed Bette. The kiss was straightway hungry and urgent. It was like blood to a vampire. They kissed voraciously. Like their lives depended on it. Their hands roaming on each other's back, breasts and waist.  
They lost themselves in the kiss. It was something they had been waiting for such a long time.  
The couple started to made their way to the bedroom as Bette pulled out. «Fuck!» she approached the counter, «The stoves». At least this was the only fire she managed to put out. The one between them was something that was above any immagination.  
She turned back and resumed the kiss.  
Still kissing the two of them entered the bedroom.  
Tina quickly took Bette's shirt away. They left themselves fall back onto the bed. They kissed. As Tina's hand made its way to Bette's butt, the brunette pulled out and slipped T's jeans off.  
Throwing Angie's books, that were on the bed, down to the floor she returned to kiss Tina.  
The passion was burning up and they couldn't wait to have each other. They lost any kind of inhibition. There were nothing and no-one around them.  
It was just 'them'.  
Kissing and kissing, Bette momentarily collected and pulled out.  
«What are we doing?»  
«Shhh» Tina hushed her up and kissed her again. She grabbed Bette's ass and rolled over. This time she was the one to be on top.  
As she removed her top, Bette's hand made her way to Tina's crotch.  
The blonde immediately stopped her. «Oh, wait! Don't»  
She grabbed the brunette's wrists makind them lay on each side of her head. Bette eyes was filled up with love and passion. Her arousual increased. She never saw Tina take the lead that way. She loved it.  
They kissed one more time. Their kisses became more urgent as they continued to rub their bodies against each other's.  
Tina pressed her center against Bette's, making her moan.  
«Spread you legs» the blonde whispered.  
«Are you talking dirty to me?» Bette questioned, with a little smug on her face.  
She did as Tina demanded. Tina, again, rubbed her center against Bette's. Slowly. Bette couldn't stand it anymore. She unzipped her pants as Tina's hand made her way to her wet center.  
The sexy producer was surprised at how wet she was.  
«You're so wet» she said, grinning. She kept teasing her.  
«T- Tina...» she gasped. She left another moan.  
«I just wanna fuck you» she said as she started to rub her clit faster with more pressure. Bette was losing control. She never felt so weak. In a good way of course. Usually she was the one to take the lead when it came to sex. This time, Tina was so confident. It drove Bette crazy. She always treated her like she was something so fragile. Now she realized how strong her woman became. And that was absolutely a good thing.  
But even if this one was a new Tina, she was still -her- lovely, cute and beautiful Tina and she was, finally, back.

Tina brought Bette to an impressive orgasm.  
After that she left herself fall over Bette's body and hugged her thight, kissing her neck. Both of them took delight of that little moment of rejoining.  
Bette was still panting. «Tee?»  
Tina's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't heard her calling that way in a long time.  
It was so cute. «What?» she gazed at her and smiled.  
«I'd like to stay here with you forever but I guess we should make our way back to the kitchen. Kit and Angie are going to be back in a hour.»  
«Yeah, you're right» she chuckled. She gave her another kiss and then got up.  
«God, that's been amazing» Bette sighed in relief. Thinking about what happened right before.  
Tina just smiled.

The two women was getting dressed when they heard the front door opening. Both of them looked at each other with wide open eyes.  
«Fuck,» Bette hurried up to get dressed. «they came early!»  
«Jesus!» Tina cursed.  
«What?»  
«The zipper.»  
«The zipper, what?»  
«It's stuck» she tried to pull it up. «Sh-sh-sh-shit!»  
«Oh God, let me help you!»  
Both women lightly bursted out laughing.

Kit and Angie entered the house.  
There was not a living soul. «Hello there, baby sis?»  
«Here we are!» Bette popped-up from the hallway and smiled. «Heeey, my little monkey» she led down and kissed her baby.  
Tina appeared after a few seconds. She was hiding behind Bette's back. «Hey Kit!»  
The singer was surprised to see Tina there. «Oh hey, baby girl!»  
«Uh, she... She came early» Bette said with a ear-to-ear grin. «And so did you...»  
Kit knew something was going on there but she just ignored it. «I see... Well, yes. Angie was getting sleepy so I thought it would be better to bring her home a little sooner»  
«Fine» Bette uttered. «I...Uh, I think I should finish making her dinner. Then we can feed her and you can take her home» the brunette turned to face Tina.  
«Sounds great» Tina smiled. She was kinda nervous.  
It was awkward with Kit being there after what Bette and she did some minutes before. «So, how's Disneyland been?» the blonde asked.  
«That was great. I enjoyed to go there with Angie. She such a cutie. I love spending time with her.»  
«Yeah, and she loves spending time with you, Kit» she said carressing her baby's hair.

After feeding Angie, Tina and their baby were ready to go.  
«Alright, here's her bag» As Bette handed it to Tina their hands made contact. Both of them winced and blushed.  
Kit noticed the interaction between the two women and held back a chuckle.  
«Thanks» Tina smiled. «Come on baby. Give your mama B a kiss and let's go to my place»  
«Bye mommy»  
«Bye Boo, be good with your mama T, okay?» she kissed her daughter. «Uh... IM me or call me...»  
She realized it could've sounded strange to her sister, so she added, «...uh you know, to talk about the — » looking at Kit.  
«Pre-school» Tina finished her sentence.  
«Pre-school! Exactly.»  
Kit didn't fall for that, of course.  
Bette walked them to the front door and as they saluted each other Tina gave her a light kiss and made her way to her car. The brunette felt like passing out.  
«Jesus... bye!» she swallowed.  
Tina looked back and smiled at her.

The sexy dean closed the door behind her and re-entered the kitchen.  
«Uh... Want to stay here for dinner?» she asked her sister, just to try not to think about how badly she wanted to stay with Tina right at that moment.  
«Sure, it sounds like a plan» Kit replied. «I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back»  
The woman made her way across the hallway and approaching the bathroom, which was right in front of the bedroom, she noticed something strange in the room. «What the fu —», she whispered and then raised her voice «What the fuck happened in here!?» she stated, looking at the books on the floor.  
Bette heard her sister. «Shit!»


	2. Chapter 1

**(Re)Finding our own path**  
Chapter 1 - July, 11 2013

**Previously**  
The sexy dean closed the door behind her and re-entered the kitchen.  
«Uh... Want to stay here for dinner?» she asked her sister, just to try not to think about how badly she wanted to stay with Tina right at that moment.  
«Sure, it sounds like a plan» Kit replied. «I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back»  
The woman made her way across the hallway and approaching the bathroom, which was right in front of the bedroom, she noticed something strange in the room. «What the fu —», she whispered and then raised her voice «What the fuck happened in here!?» she stated, looking at the books on the floor.  
Bette heard her sister. «Shit!»

* * *

Busted.  
That's what Bette thought as she heard her sister.  
She quickly ran forward her and tried to look as calm as she could.  
«What?»  
«Can you explain this mess, baby sis?»  
Dang! She couldn't say she just had sex with Tina.  
Awesome and mind-blowing sex.  
She almost left herself daydreaming at that thought and Kit noticed it.  
She composed herself, «Huh, well... I couldn't find one of my paperworks, I was sure I left it in here, on the bed. I freaked out... yes, I freaked out and I threw the books all over the floor»  
«And why was Tina here?» Kit frowned. «In the bedroom»  
She scratched her neck, nervously. «Actually, she was helping me find it»  
«Listen, baby girl. I know you... You're my sister and I know when something is going on with you. So stop bullshit me and tell me what's going on»  
Bette didn't say anything. She looked down, then gazed at her.  
Kit sighed. «I don't know, excactly, what's happening... but I truly hope you know what you're doing»  
«Don't worry, Kit. I have everything under control.»  
«Yeh, yeh... keep saying to yourself that, baby girl.»

The two sisters had dinner together, that night.  
The thought of Tina kept roaming around her head. And the fact tha she couldn't be with her, be truly with her, as they always dreamt about, killed her.

In the middle of the night, the brunette woke up in her own bed.  
Someone was sleeping in the spot, next to her.  
But she wasn't -that- one.  
Jodie came up at the house later that night. But They didn't have sex.  
Bette wasn't up to it.  
She did not want to have meaningless and insignificant sex.  
She wanted to make love. And she never did it with Jodie.  
The only one she did it with was that beautiful and awesome hazel-eyed woman, who was now sleeping at her own place.

They were so distant, yet so close.  
No matter how large the distant is, as long as two hearts belong together.  
And their hearts were beating unanimously.

The next morning, Tina was up already enjoying her little girl's company.  
«Good morning, sweet pea. Are you hungry?»  
They were in the living room, sitting at the coffee table.  
«Should we make pancakes? Let me go check and see what we have» the blonde mommy said as she stood up. «Okay, I'll go look»  
«Uh-oh, we're out of milk!»  
Tina stood there, in front of the fridge. Then closed the door and suggested something she never imagined she could do. «I know what we should do. What if we call mama B and see if she wants to have breakfast with us»  
She couldn't believe what she just asked. «Hmm, Does that sound like a good idea? What do you think?»  
Of course it's not a good idea.  
She was probably at home, with her 'girlfriend'.  
On the other hand Bette was, indeed, at home with her 'girlfriend'.  
«I would love to go for breakfast with you and angie, but, um...» she said, as she saw Jodie approaching the kitchen.  
The desire to say 'yes' was kicking her in the guts.  
«Oh, yeah. Of course» the blonde realized her idea was, actually, a bad idea.  
«Tina, wait- Uh, I think we're goint to pass on breakfast»  
She just pretented that Tina invited both her and Jodie.  
Tina understood that, but... 'We?' Seriously?  
«Yeah, it's a really sweet idea. Um... but, yeah. Give Angie a kiss for me.»  
«Okay. Bye.»  
The artist could read her labial.  
«Don't you want to go out for breakfast? I'm kind of in the mood to go out. »  
«I'm not in the mood to go out» Bette replied. «You know what? I would really just like to sit in my garden and read my newspaper. But, if you want to go to the planet, and... do another podcast, then that would be-»  
«Oh Bette, I was just joking and I said I was sorry... are you going to go on punishing me forever?»  
«I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm just stressed.»  
«Do you want to go and see some art?»  
She would've liked to do so, yes. But the piece of art she has in mind was the beautiful blonde she just talked with on the phone a few minutes before.  
«Or maybe we could go to the beach? Drive up the coast to zuma.»  
«I think I just... I just need a little Sunday alone time, that's all...» and if could've been with Tina, it would have been way better. «Just to get ready for the week. I mean, apart from everything else, I have to appear before the board to tell them what i'm going to do about the Justin Donovan 'Little gun-To-The-Head escapade.'»  
«What are you going to tell them?»  
«I really don't know.»  
«Tell them your judgment was ciouded because professor Lerner is an incredibly hot fuck.» Jodie winked and walked away.  
The brunette just left out a weak chuckle. Feeling a little guilty.  
But she couldn't help it, actually, her mind was ciouded because of the 'incredibily hot fuck' she had the day before. With Tina.

«I'm so glad you guys met me. I was feeling really lonely» Tina admitted. She was spending some time with Alice, Shane and Angie at the Planet.  
«Oh, my God, that's why i called shane» Alice replied.  
«Well, ladies, that's what friends are for, what can i say?» Shande added. «But we're still going to Phyllis's tonight, right?»  
Tina affirmed, «Yeah. Isn't bette going to be there?»  
«Is that- I thought you guys were getting along lately?» Alice asked, a little puzzled.  
«Yeah. Yeah. It's not a problem» Tina stated.  
Of course it's not a problem. And they got 'really' along lately.  
They started to talk about Tasha, until Tina's phone rang.  
It was Bette.  
Who was having second thoughts about breakfast.  
Tina aswered it, «Yep». Avoiding to say her name.  
«Do you still want to meet at the planet?» Bette asked, with a grin.  
«I'm here already...» Trying to act with nonchalance. She gazed at her friends and added, «With Alice and Shane»  
«Well, I really...» Bette left out a sigh «I really wanna see you, Tina»  
_'Hello? There's Alice. She's a big mouth. We can't be seen together.'_  
«I can't right now» she said, even if she wanted to accept the invitation, so badly.  
«Well, what about tonight? I don't-I don't have any plans.»  
«I'm going to your boss's house.»  
The conversation is suddenly interrupted by her little girl, «Puppieees»  
«Those aren't fucking puppies» Alice uttered.  
The Planet was having a 'Rats-Attack' and sadly, Tina had to hang up the phone, saying she would've called her back.

Bette sighed, thinking about what to do as she picked up her newspaper and made her way to the garden.  
She spent the whole afternoon at home.  
Sitting in the pool chair.  
Reading, and thinking.  
She, actually, couldn't read. Her thoughts distracted her.  
She kept staring at the same page for several minutes.  
Until she heard her phone buzzing.  
She kept the phone and read the text message.  
'I hope you can make it and meet me at your bosses house, tonight. T'

Tina didn't get any reply from Bette.  
She was afraid she was having second thoughts and that maybe she was starting to regret it. After all, they were having an affair.  
The blonde was almost shocked about that.  
She, once, was in Jodie's shoes.  
She never seen this coming. But, it felt right.  
Everything always felt right with Bette.

Shane, Alice and she were at the party.  
Tina was close to accept the fact that Bette couldn't be there.  
But, as soon as she thought that... she saw the familiar beauty.  
There she was.  
Beautiful, sexy.  
How can it be possible to look so amazing?  
Tina gazed at her, smiled and slowly approached her.  
Their smiles. And their eyes, full of love and passion.

«Hey.»  
«Hi.»  
«Wild party, huh?» Bette said, trying to break the ice.  
Tina turned around, seeing Phyllis dancing with a woman.  
She chuckled.  
Bette found it so damn sexy.  
Tina then said: «I thought you weret doing anything tonight»  
«I wasn't.»  
«Where's jodi? Is she here?»  
«Um, no, she didn't want to do a work thing, and Phyllis is work for us.»  
«Right.»  
Tina bit her lips. They were nervous.  
Then Bette asked something she didn't aspect.  
But she couldn't deny she was hoping it to happen.  
«Tina? Do you want to get out of here?»  
Tina just smirked giving her a look that said 'I know what you mean' and followed the awesome brunette that was just a few steps ahead.  
Shane and Alice, whom was still at the party, noticed Tina's absence.  
«Where's Tina?»  
«I don't know, maybe she scored!»  
She surely did, Alice!

Without knowing how, the two of them found themselves at Tina's.  
Bette had never been there but she felt comfortable, like if she was automatically familiar with everything that belonged to Tina.  
Tina invided her to sit at the table.  
«Tea?»  
«Sounds nice» Bette smiled.  
She never felt so nervous.  
As strange it may sounds, Bette Porter was really-really nervous.  
But, in a good way. It felt like a teenager who fell in love for the first time and doesn't know what to do.  
The brunette, slowly left her finger play with the plate in front of her, on the table. Then quickly pulled her hand back, as she saw Tina approaching.  
«You can't stay too long, I have to be on set at seven in the morning»  
«Yeah, I know. I know» Bette said.  
Her voice low. You could barely hear her.  
The brunette looked down at her hands, that were placed on the table, while the executive producer filled up their cups with some tea.  
Then the dean managed to break the silence. «So this thing's really going through? I mean Jenny's going to be directing a movie?»  
She just picked out the first thing that passed through her mind.  
Or at least, the first thing that didn't have anything to do with Tina and her.  
«Apparently» that was Tina's short response.  
She knew Bette, indeed, had something else in her mind.  
As their eyes finally met, Tina gave her a further glance, just to look deeper in her eyes and let her know she was willing to know what she wanted to say.  
Bette finally got the message.  
And shyly admitted: «I don't know what to do»  
«You're in love with Jodie, right?» she asked. She already knew the answer, but she just wanted to hear it coming from Bette's mouth.  
«I adore her. And I respect and admire her but...»  
«But what?» Tina said, even if she knew, she was strictly astonished.  
Bette said just one sentence.  
In just one sentence she had been finally able to admit her deep love to her.  
«It doesn't really compare.»

They sat there...  
Looking into each other's eyes.  
For several seconds, they seemed to be an eternity.  
Both of them left themselves go deep inside their glances.  
And before they knew, they found their lips meet.  
They didn't even know how they arrived nearby the bed.  
They sat down.  
They didn't undressed yet.  
They just kept looking into one another's eyes.  
They came back to a place they always belonged, that they missed for so long.  
They were contemplating their reunion.  
Their come back.  
They.  
Both of them almost lost their hopes some time ago.  
Never thinking about those little words: 'us' or 'they' or 'we' to ever come back, again.  
Instead, there they were. They.  
Then finally, a charge of passion ran over them. They kissed again. This time the kiss was more urgent, filled with hunger. But they kept go slowing. Enjoying the time together, knowing that neither of them would've gone anywhere. Their love was there. With them.  
They removed their clothes slowly and even more slowly they layed down on the bed.  
Between one kiss and another, they couldn't help but smile.  
Bette placed herself on top of her and left her tongue play with Tina's.  
Her hands roaming throught their hair.  
She licked the blonde upper lip, looked into her eyes and smiled.  
She smiled back. Warm and tender smiles.  
They were making love. Not sex. Not meaningfull and pointless sex. Love.  
And those smiles, those smiles was indicating they were finally back to their shared path. No words needed.  
Bette slow went down, letting her mouth to roam around Tina's chest and abdomen. With one hand she caressed her left brest. Then returned to face and kiss her. «I missed you»  
They rolled over and Tina almost replicated Bette's movement she did right before to her. She left a trail of kisses over her abdomen. Grabbed both her breasts making Bette moan lightly.  
Then the two of them sat up. Sitting in front of one another. With Tina right on top of Bette's lap.  
Their legs crossed.  
Their center pressing against each other's.  
In a short while both of them entered one another with two fingers.  
They started to rock their bodies as they increased the thrust and the speed.  
Tina left out a loud moan, leaning her head back.  
Bette silently gasped and leaned her forehead in Tina's shoulder blade.  
They reached their climax together. Like they always had.  
With their bodies still trembling they kissed one more time and left themselves fall back into the bed.  
They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

It was 4.03 when Bette woke up.  
She gently stirred, causing Tina to move her arm that was around the brunette's waist. Bette grabbed it back. Not wanting to break the physical contact between them.  
Tina kissed her shoulder, as Bette turned her head to whisper to her «I'm gonna go now» then Tina gave her a little peck on the cheek.  
They both sat up. With Bette turning her back to Tina.  
And as Bette silently, and without letting Tina to see her, mouthed 'I love you', Tina said something that brought her to the reality.  
«Jodie will be so devastated.»  
«She can't find out.»  
«Well, I'm certainly not gonna tell her.»  
They started a conversation, meanwhile Bette was dressing up.  
«I'm sorry, I just... I just need more time. That's all.»  
«I'm not pushing you. I don't even know what I want.»  
«I know. I just think... we both need to take the time to just figure out what we want. That's all. You know, what's right for us. How to do the right thing.»  
«You need to take the time to figure out what's right for you. And I need to take the time to figure out what's right for me.»  
Both smiled, «Right».  
Actually, both of them already knew what was right.  
Everything that just happened felt absolutely and in any kind of way, right.  
Well, actually, as long as Jodie's concerned it was not.  
But for the two of them, it was.  
Before she left, Bette leaned back and gave her another, slow, deep and lovely kiss.  
It spoke for itself. It said: 'This is right'.


	3. Chapter 2

**(Re)Finding our own path**  
Chapter 2 - July, 20 2013

**Previously**  
«Jodi will be so devastated.»  
«She can't find out.»  
«Well, I'm certainly not gonna tell her.»  
They started a conversation, meanwhile Bette was dressing up.  
«I'm sorry, I just... I just need more time. That's all.»  
«I'm not pushing you. I don't even know what I want.»  
«I know. I just think... we both need to take the time to just figure out what we want. That's all. You know, what's right for us. How to do the right thing.»  
«You need to take the time to figure out what's right for you. And I need to take the time to figure out what's right for me.»  
Both smiled, «Right».  
Actually, both of them already knew what was right.  
Everything that just happened felt absolutely and in any kind of way: Right.  
Well, actually, as long as Jodi's concerned it was not.  
But for the two of them, it was.  
Before she left, Bette leaned back and gave her another, slow, deep and lovely kiss.  
It spoke for itself. It said: 'This is right'.

Two days later, Tina entered the Planet and approached Alice and Shane, that were sitting at the table a few steps in front of her, drinking some coffee and talking.  
Bette and she didn't have the chance to talk to each other since that heart-welming night. Despite the fact that they reconnected in someway, they still weren't together so both of them had their own schedules.  
And plus, Bette was in a relationship.

«Hey, TK!» Alice greeted her friend. «We haven't hear from you for a while, where the fuck did you go last night?»  
«Oh, I'm sorry guys. I should've told you that I was leaving the party, I wasn't feeling very well» Tina lied.  
«We thought some chick hitted on you and you dediced to leave with her» Shane chuckled.  
Tina left out an awkward giggle. She chose to avoid that statement and immediately changed the subject. «Um, so? How's everything doing, ladies?  
«Fine», both her friends replied. «How's you?» Shane added.  
«Fine, yeah» she sighed. «I'm just stressed I guess. You know, the movie business. I fucking hate Hollywood»  
«Yeah, tell me about it!» Shade agreed. «Those actresses are crazy»  
Tina laughed, «They are!»  
«Well at least there's one thing that link them to us. We're crazy as well»  
«You're right, Alice» the hair styler stated.  
After a bunch of minutes spent talking, Tina left the thought of Bette fill her mind. Her friends were still talking but she wasn't paying attention. The stream of thoughts took a break in the moment she was caught thinking by Alice. «T? Hey!»  
«Uh?» Tina turned her head to face her friend. «What?»  
«Are you still with us?»  
«Yeah... Yes. Of coruse I am.»  
«So, what did I just say?»  
The blonde opened her mouth as to speak, «Hmm» then she clenched her lips. Tina had no idea what Alice said.  
Shane and Alice looked at each other. They totally knew something was happening. «Come on, spill it!»  
«What?»  
«I don't know, anything that is in your mind» Alice smirked and gave her a half-closed eyes look.  
«Wha- there's nothing in my mind. I told you, this fucking Hollywood is killing me. And... I have to baby-sit this actress. She's driving me crazy!»  
«Yeh, yeh. Okay» Alice said, don't falling for it.  
Then she got up. «By the way, guys I really need to go now. See you soon!»  
«Tonight there's one of those special-nights, if you want you can meet us here?» Shane suggested.  
«Um... Yeah, sounds great! See you tonight, then. Bye girls»  
«Bye!» «Bye, Tina» Both of them saluted their friend.  
Then shared another glance.  
«I think something is up with that woman!» Alice said.  
«I totally agree» she said, then both clinked their cups of coffee.

Just when she was about to leave, Tina ran into Kit, who was entering the bar. «Hey baby girl?»  
«Hi, Kit!»  
«How are you?»  
«I'm fine, yeah. Um... Listen, I really gotta go, sorry! See you tonight» with that, Tina left quickly.  
Kit was atonished. As she got into the Planet she approached Alice and Shande. «What's going on with Tina?»  
«See? I was right!» Alice uttered. «We think something is bothering Tina but we don't know what»  
«Hm-Hmm, I think I know» Kit muttered.  
«What? Do you know something?» Alice asked.  
Kit jumped at Alice's prominent question but avoided to reply. She knew that if she told something to Alice, the whole WeHo would've known everything. She couldn't tell her that maybe something was happeing between Bette and Tina. So she just opted for a simple reply. «No, of course not. I'm in the office if you need me».

Tina headed to the parking lot and got into her car.  
With her hands planted on the wheel she started to talk to herself.  
«Fucking fuck, Tina! What were you thinking? This is a total utter fucking fucked up thing. She's with Jodi for Christ sake. God, I can't do this. We can't do this. She can't do this»  
Her soliloquy was soon interrupted by a knock on the window.  
Tina immediately turned to see who that was.  
There she were: Bette.  
She snorted, «Why are you talking to yourself?»  
«Uh, hey... um, hi!» she was taken by surprise. «I was, um... I was reviewing a speech I have to do at a meeting at work, later this afternoon»  
«Oh, sounds like a good idea, I guess I'm going to try this for my future speeches» she showed up her 1000 watt smile. Tina's heart almost melted at that wonderful sight. She resuscitates from the trance and thought it was better for her to go away. «And talking about work, I guess I'd better go»  
«Uh, yeah. I'll see you tonight? I know there will be one of those nights here at the Planet. Alice invited us»  
'Us'. Of course. Alice invited 'us'. And she wasn't talking about them. She was talking about Jodi and her. «Yeah, I know. She invited me as well. Anyway, if I'm not too tired...»  
«Okay, see you then» she smiled. «Bye, Tee»  
«Bye!»  
Tina started the car and shook her head, «Fuck».

Bette entered the Planet and before she could see them, her friends called the woman and invited her to sit with them.  
«Hello Porter! So, are you and Jodi still coming tonight, right?»  
«Sure, Alice but I can't stay here for too long, I have an early meeting tomorrow.»  
«Boriiiiing!» Alice teased.  
The brunette was about to argue that statement when her sister joined them. «Hello, baby sis»  
«Hi, Kit!»  
«How's Tina?»  
«Tina?» Bette was surprised, she didn't know why her sister asked about her. It would have been less strange if she asked about Jodi.  
At least, she was the one who was with her.  
«Yes, Tina. I saw her this morning and she looked a bit worried about something.»  
«Um, well, I have no idea. Maybe she's stressed, you know. They're starting the filming. It can be very stressful» she tried to act as much detached as she could. But, why was Tina worried? That's the question that started to fill her mind at that moment. The dean was deeply absorbed in her own thoughts, and her friend noticed her.  
«Okay, what's wrong with you guys, this morning?» Alice asked puzzled.  
This time the one that looked nervous and worried was Bette.  
«Huh?»  
«Yeah, now you are the one who's acting strange»  
«I am not acting strange»  
«Yes, you are»  
«What? I- No, it's just... Something came up to my mind and I should really go. I forgot I had something to do. See you guys!»  
Without letting them say anything, the brunette exited the bar.  
The three of them looked at each other. Their mouths open.  
«What the fuck?» Shane uttered.  
«Those two have contracted the 'stand up and run away without letting your friends talk' virus» Alice added.  
The only thing Kit did was to let out a huge sigh and then excused herself.  
She left the bar and quickly approached the parking lot. And there she was, her sister. In the car, talking to herself. Just like Tina did a few minutes before.  
«Bette!»  
The brunette jumped, «Jesus! Kit, you scared me».  
«Yeah, well. You're scaring me too.»  
«Scaring you, how?»  
«I don't know, it looks like you lost your mind. We were at the table, talking and suddenly you run away.»  
«Come on, Kit. I told you I had something to do.»  
«And why are you still here, then?» Kit frowned. «Talking to yourself»  
«You know how I am. Sometime I talk to myself to organize my plans.»  
«Yeah, right» she stared at her younger sister.  
«Can I go now?»  
«Sure...»  
«Thanks!», Bette sighed and started her car.  
Kit stood there, watching the car moving away. Letting out another sigh, she went back to the Planet to get things ready for the night.

Tina was in her office, reading some scripts when suddenly a sense of guilt covered her. And there was something else.  
Bette. She cheated again.  
Well, of course it wasn't the same thing. There was history between them. But still, she cheated.  
How was she supposed to trust her if she did the same thing that broke them up?  
How was she supposed to come back with her, living with the constant fear of another betrayal?  
What if she was going to do it again, with her, if they decided to start over?  
And then, there's was the guilt.  
And the shame.  
She became the third woman.  
Like the one that caused their split-up.  
Was this what she really wanted?  
She was afraid Bette was going to change her mind, just like she did with the carpenter. Maybe Tina was her new 'Candace'. Something that wasn't too much important. Just some kind of an escape.  
Her stream of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the office door. It was her assistant: «Tina, Bette is on line one».  
«What? Bette?»  
«Yeah, she asked to talk to you. She says it's important.»  
What did Bette want? Tina was going to find out.  
«Okay, thanks! Please, shut the door.»  
As her assistant closed the door, she answered the phone.  
A strange sense of nausea hit her. Something told her it wasn't a friendly call. «Hello?»  
«Hi, Tina.»  
'Tina'. This wasn't going to be good.  
«Hi, Bette.» she mimicked her.  
«Listen, I think we should meet and talk...»  
Tina gulped. «Yeah... um, I think we should. Yeah»  
«Okay, um... what if we meet at home, about six?»  
«You mean, your house?»  
Bette didn't realized she used the word 'home'. Something dictated by the habit. «Um, uh, yeah... I meant my house»  
«Yeah, fine. I'll see you at six, then.»  
«Great, um... bye.»  
«Bye.»

Tina's body was crossed by a long shiver.  
She knew something was going on, by listening to Bette's sound of voice.  
What that seemed to be right in the first place, at that very moment it seemed to be so fucking wrong.


	4. Chapter 3

**(Re)Finding our own path**  
Chapter 3 - July, 28 2013

**Previously**  
As her assistant closed the door, she answered the phone.  
A strange sense of nausea hit her. Something told her it wasn't a friendly call. «Hello?»  
«Hi, Tina.»  
'Tina'. This wasn't going to be good.  
«Hi, Bette.» she mimicked her.  
«Listen, I think we should meet and talk...»  
Tina gulped. «Yeah... um, I think we should. Yeah»  
«Okay, um... what if we meet at home, about six?»  
«You mean, your house?»  
Bette didn't realized she used the word 'home'. Something dictated by the habit. «Um, uh, yeah... I meant my house»  
«Yeah, fine. I'll see you at six, then.»  
«Great, um... bye.»  
«Bye.»

Tina's body was crossed by a long shiver.  
She knew something was going on, by listening to Bette's voice.  
What that seemed to be right in the first place, at that very moment it seemed to be so fucking wrong.

* * *

That was going to be a tough evening.

She hated what she was becoming. She turned into a cheater, again. Even though it felt right, awesome, heartwelming... it was still an affair.  
Bette was sitting in the lounge chair near the pool. Trying to figure out what to do next and how to tell Tina what she decided.  
She didn't want to hurt anyone. But the only thing she managed to think about was that no matter what she did in her life she, somehow, always ended up hurting someone. _'What the hell was I thinking?'_  
She was scared. Those strong and powerful feelings were scaring her. She always loved Tina. But lot of things happened between them. They almost hated each other. They hurt one another badly. The woman didn't know if she could handle another break up if it wouldn't have worked. She didn't know if what she was feeling was really a genuine sentiment or something that caught her up in that moment. She knew she loved Tina, but she didn't know if love was enough. Trust and promises have been broken by their actions. She wasn't sure they could make it and be able to build a new and stable relationship. So she took the easiest way...  
She was going to end this fling with Tina.  
The brunette's head was filled with thoughts and fears. She wanted to pour herself a glass of scotch just to calm down, but she thought it wasn't wise since she wanted to be as lucid as possible in the moment she was going to talk with Tina. So she opted for a cigarette. It wasn't her usual habit, she quit a long time ago. But when she was upset or nervous enough, the feeling of the smoke filling her lungs gave her a sense of relief.

Right at the moment she left the smoke fill her bronchi, she didn't realize the woman standing next to her.  
«I thought you quit?»  
Bette was taken aback. She started to cough, «What... God, hey Tina» she managed to say, still coughing.  
«I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you but I knocked and you didn't hear me, so I guessed you were in the back and here you are... Are you okay?» she asked concerned.  
«Um, yeah... Yeah, I am fine» she said in a choking voice, putting out the cigarette.  
«Okay, so, um you wanted to talk, right?»  
Bette took a deep breath, «Right».

The two women made their way inside and Tina made herself comfortable sitting on the couch. She looked around the living room, enjoying the sight. Bette's taste was impeccable. Everything was like when she left a year before.  
Except for their pictures of them together... they weren't there.  
Well, what she could expect?  
The sense of sadness that reached her was unbearable. And it was fed by the fact that she had no idea what Bette wanted to talk to her about. But, sadly, she could feel in her gut, it wasn't good.

Bette approached her and handed her former partner a cup of tea and sat in the chair in front of the couch, that way she could face her.  
An awkward silence fell above them, it was killing Tina.  
The blonde looked at her, without uttering a word, her eyes begged her to talk. '_I wonder what she's struggling with, she looks so lost_'.  
Bette looked down and inhaled a large amount of air. She lift her head and before she could start, noticed Tina's shoulders were shaking.  
The woman before her was silently crying, it broke her heart.  
It was making everything more difficult.  
«Tina, I —»  
The southern beauty raised her hand to make her stop talking. «Wait! Please...» she kept crying and between one sob and another she asked Bette to hold her. Just for a little bit.  
The dean did as she'd been asked. She stood up and immediately putted her arms around the sobbing woman. She inhaled her scent as she rocked her to calm her down. '_She smells so good_'.  
None of the two uttered a word.

They finally pulled out, after Tina managed to recompose herself. «I'm sorry, I didn't want to do this... Fuck» she avoided her gaze.  
«You don't need to be sorry... It's my fault» the brunette admitted.  
«So? What did you want to talk about?»  
Bette swallowed the lump that's formed in her throat. «Now it's everything more difficult»  
«Why? Because I cried? It's not a big deal, I don't want your pity.»  
The mocha skinned finally managed to look into her eyes. «I don't know how to say it»  
«Oh come on, Bette. Just say it... You're having second thoughts, right?» it hurt admitting it. «Right?»  
Bette looked down, again. «It's complicated»  
«Fuck! Just... Can't you just say what it's in your fucking mind?»  
«I'm scared!» she said, raising her voice a little too much. Then she continued with a quiter voice. «I'm scared... I don't think we should keep doing this. I... I'm hurting another person. And I hate what I'm doing, again... I'm doing this again and I know how it ends. No matter what, someone always ends up hurting. I always end up hurting someone else. I don't want to do this to Jodi... I promised her I won't break her heart and if we continue this... thing... like you said, she will be devastated»  
'_This thing, she said. She referred to what happened between us as -this thing-' _Tina tried to garner Bette's words. Fuck, that hurt. She felt like she was going to die. «Thanks, Bette»  
As Bette gave her a questioning look, she added: «Don't you realize how much you just hurt me? You said: 'this thing' like if those seven years we spent together meant nothing. For me, it wasn't a 'thing'. I felt... I felt alive... again. I felt like I could climb the fucking Everest because you were loving me, touching me... you said you missed me. You said that what you were feeling for Jodi doesn't really compare to what we had or have, I don't know what to think anymore... You just said you don't want to hurt anyone. But you just did, you just ripped my heart off my chest and threw it out of the fucking window. How do you think I'm feeling right now? You can't... you can't fool me this way. You can't give me hopes and then decide to quit it and go on like nothing happened. Fuck, what was I thinking... this is probably how it happened with Candace. I'm so fucking hurt that I'm even starting to feel bad for her... Can you believe it? I should've known, I should've known you were going to turn your back on me and return to Jodi. I should've known that for you, it was just something about sex. You can't help it. I've been there, I should've fucking known. You just opened your fucking legs to another woman -me- and fucked her. Just like you did three years ago! You are a fucking selfish, Bette. I thought you changed... but apparently you're still the same selfish person» those words came out her mouth like a blast.

Bette looked at her, stunned. Those words hitted her in the gut. She knew Tina had a point. She was seriously acting selfish. She wanted to do the right thing, and even if she thought that being with Tina, making love to her, holding her felt like it was, actually it wasn't. It wasn't enough to leave all the hurt they did to each other behind. «And do you understand how scared I am? What if you decide to turn to men, again? Huh? Don't act like you are the only fucking one who's been hurt. I lived hell when you left me for... For Him» she couldn't say his name. The wound was still open and bleeding.  
«Fuck you, Bette! I... I made a fool of myself, becoming the third woman, sleeping with you just because I love you. I, I've seen you jumping in the bed with me, without any hesitation, while you were in a relationship with Jodi and now... You say you are not sure if I'm not going to turn to men again? What about me? I could have thought that probably you were going to turn to another woman if we decided to give it another try, but I haven't. I was starting to believe that what happened with Candace was a meaningless mistake. But, right now. Everything seems clear to me. Apparently, you've not changed... And I am not so sure if I want you again, anymore. The only thing I'm sure about is that... you fucking broke my heart, you did it again» as she said this last sentence, her voice broke.  
Bette hated to see her hurting like that, she tried to get closer but Tina stopped her, «Don't!».  
She was starting to talk again when their little one popped out from the hall, she woke up from her nap. The blonde immediately wiped her eyes, but her baby noticed something was wrong with her mother. «Mommy, cry?»  
Tina's heart broke one more time. «It's nothing, baby. It's okay. Mommy just got a boo-boo, it's going to be alright. Give me a hug, come here»  
Bette left out a gasp. She couldn't say anything, the lump formed in her throat almost made her choke.  
She just stared at the two of them.

How the hell did they get there?  
Their family. The one they always dreamt about.  
It wasn't supposed to be this way.


	5. Chapter 4

**Previusly**  
She was starting to talk again when their little one popped out from the hall, she woke up from her nap. The blonde immediately wiped her eyes, but her baby noticed something was wrong with her mother. «Mommy, cry?»  
Tina's heart broke one more time. «It's nothing, baby. It's okay. Mommy just got a boo-boo, it's going to be alright. Give me a hug, come here»  
Bette left out a gasp. She couldn't say anything, the lump formed in her throat almost made her choke.  
She just stared at the two of them.

How the hell did they get there?  
Their family. The one they always dreamt about.  
It wasn't supposed to be this way.

* * *

Angie asked Tina to stay at the house, she wanted to swim with her mother. So she stayed there for about two hours. Bette and she didn't talked for the whole time. They just kept sharing glances every now and then, but decided to stay quite.  
What else were they supposed to say?  
Once again, they managed to hurt each other.  
That's what scared Bette the most. The fact that no matter why and no matter how, they always hurt one another.  
But, in addition to this, what that really mattered at that moment, was the fact that hurtful words had been said, just a few hours before and she couldn't help it but feel the need to apologise.

Taking advantage of the fact that Angie was playing in her room, she decided to start to talk to Tina.  
The two of them were in the same room, sitting on the same couch, yet so distant.  
The blonde woman remained silent, like she was expecting Bette to say something.  
«T?»  
She called her 'T', like she always did when things were good between them. A sense of 'home' crossed her soul. «Yeah?»  
«I'm sorry...»  
The blonde gazed at Bette waiting for her to continue.  
As she realized Tina was listening, she kept talking.  
«I want to start with this: I love you. I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you» she took a deep breath, «I know, I gave you too much hope. And I have to admit it, I felt great two days ago with you. I mean it. It felt so damn right... it was fucking amazing. But, I can't... I can't do this... I just can't»  
Tina didn't say anything this time either. She just stared at her.  
So Bette decided to talk again, «I'm sorry. I am deeply sorry. I know I hurt you saying those words. But I would like you to understand my position»  
«I do understand», she finally decided to speak. «Believe me, I do. And now that I think of it, you're right. I hurt you too. I... acted like it was only your fault. I've been selfish. But, you're right... I have nothing else to lose... I'm with... no one. You are with Jodi, I should've thought about it. Plus, you're right when you say that you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust myself either... but believe me when I say that I love you and that I would do anything for another chance. Just please, don't turn your back on me. No matter what you decide to do... don't leave me» she sighed, «And... in regard what I said, about Candace. That's not true... I didn't mean it. I know that you're not like that. I know that you didn't do it just to use me or because you're a selfish woman, please forgive me»  
Bette's heart melted at her plea. She could see and sense the woman's pain and regret. «See? That's what scares me. The fact that, no matter why... even if we don't mean it, we always hurt each other and I'm tired of this. I am really tired» she took Tina's hand in hers, «There's nothing to forgive you about, we both did huge mistakes, we both hurt each other, you had all the rights to say those things to me, given my history. Just believe me, I didn't do it because I was using you. I did it because everytime I'm with you I forgot everything, it's just me and you... But when the magic ends, the reality hits me and I think about all the things happened and it hurts. It hurts so badly I can't breathe. And I don't know if I'm able to start this all over again. I'm too afraid to fall again and it would kill me... I want you to know that I will never, ever turn my back on you. You will always be in my life, no matter what happens. I just... I don't think it's possible, at the moment, to think about a relationship between us. It is too difficult for me to think about that»

Tina absorbed the words, they hitted her like bullets.  
She knew Bette was right. Too much happened, she had been the one who left Bette the last time. She left her for a man. Bette had every right to start over, with another woman, and feel that way.  
It just hurt.  
The fact that maybe, it was really finished... it hurt.  
How stupid she had been, thinking that there could've been the possibility to reconnect. Such a fool. _'Such a fool'_. «Such a fool»  
«What?» Bette asked, not able to hear her.  
She chuckled, a nervous-sad-chuckle. She was looking at the floor, «Nothing... I was thinking out loud... You are right» she shrugged, «You are right, I don't know what else to say... I just... I fucked up. And now I have to deal with the consequences»  
Bette didn't reply, she just kept holding her hand. The blonde layed her eyes on their hands. She always loved Bette's hands warmth.  
She slowly looked up at her, «Are you happy with Jodi?»  
«I'm okay... it's just easy to live that way»  
«What do you mean?»  
«Not being attached to someone the way I was with you... It will not provide too much pain if, somehow, things may fall apart»  
«I think I know what you mean» she looked down again. She rubbed her hands on her laps and got up. «I'd better go», she smiled weakly looking at Bette.  
The brunette stood up as well, and after saluting her daugther, Bette led Tina to the front door.  
The two of them glanced at each other for several seconds and for an instant it seemed like those years apart didn't happen.  
But reality hitted them and Tina decided to break the silence. «Bye, Bette»  
«Wait!» Bette grasped her wrist and pulled her into a hug.  
It was warm, tight. She didn't want to let go, it felt like a goodbye.  
Tina felt the same way, she didn't want Bette to let her go as well.  
But finally pulled out.  
«Okay,» her eyes filled with tears «I'll go now»  
«Yeah» she whispered, «Bye, T».


	6. Chapter 5

Bette and Jodi were in the car, heading to the Planet. There was one of those 'special nights' and Shane and Alice wanted the two of them to join the gang. They invited Tina as well and, since what happened earlier that evening, the thought of seeing her again made her nervous. Jodi noticed it.  
«Honey, what's up? »  
«Uh? » Bette's trance was interrupted, «Nothing, um, nothing» she smiled.  
There was another moment of silence, until Jodi spoke again.  
«Is Tina going to the Planet? »  
The question almost made her lose control of the vehicle, _'Dammit!' _Bette thought, _'The only pronunciation of her name makes me lose control' _«Yes, yes she's going».

As they made their way into the club, trying to push their way through the crowd, Bette spotted the gang. And Tina was already there. She could feel the blood flowing from her head to her feet. She didn't know what it was – it was a new feeling, she couldn't define it yet. She thought given, what happened earlier, she found a kind of closure, but maybe, things between them were a little too deep. Well, you can't, as long as you want to – you can't erase almost eight years of love. But then, all the fears and hurt made their way to the surface and Bette couldn't avoid them. Right at that moment, being there with Jodi was the right thing to do, according to her brain. Despite it wasn't the right thing when it came to her heart. But still, both of them hurt each other badly, and maybe there weren't any chances for them to make it work. So the logical conclusion was to make the easiest choice. Being with Jodi and avoid the strong entanglement she had with Tina.

The blonde saw them and she couldn't help but let out a sigh. She hoped none of her friends noticed it, but she was wrong. «What, T? » Alice asked.  
«Nothing, um, I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back» she quickly left the table.  
«What the fuck is wrong with that woman? She kept rushing away! » the younger blonde uttered, turning to Shane.  
«I really don't know. Things seem a little too strange with her»  
«Not only with her» Alice murmured, clearly referring to Bette.  
Shane just nodded, implying she knew what she was talking about.  
«Here she is! » she pointed at Bette, as the couple approached them.  
«Hello guys! » the beautiful dean greeted her two friends. Taking a sit.  
Jodi did the same and spoke, «Wasn't Tina here? »  
«She is, yeah. Um, she went to the restroom»

Bette knew she did that to avoid to see her. Well, actually, to avoid to see her with Jodi. She was aware of the fact that this was hurting her, really badly. But that was the only solution in her opinion. She couldn't risk to go through all that pain, again. At the same time, it hurt knowing how bad Tina was feeling about this situation. But, it takes two, right? Both of them had their roles in that department. Both of them threw it all out of the window. _'Tina is as guilty as me'_, she said to herself, trying to justify her actions.

The group of women spent a while talking and laughing, several minutes had passed but Tina didn't come back. It was a little odd, and Bette could feel something was wrong. She was starting to worry and couldn't help it, she decided to go and see what was happening.  
«Honey, I need another drink, anything you want? » she asked Jodi.  
«No thanks, go ahead, I'll wait you here» the woman signed.

As she left the table, she let out the breath she didn't know was holding and made her way to the restroom, trying to avoid to be seen. She opened the door, but Tina wasn't there. She could only hear someone sniffing. «Is anybody here? » Bette asked, being sure Tina was in one of the toilet cabins. She didn't reply. But she realized the woman stopped sniffing, trying to make sure Bette didn't hear her. But Bette continued, «I heard you»  
The blonde sighed, and still sitting on the toilet, she said «What do you want? »  
«I just wanted to make sure you were okay»  
Tina let out a short laugh, «It's pretty clear I am not, isn't it? »  
«Listen, Tina. I know how bad you're hurting, but believe me, it's not easy for me, either… I —fuck, can you come out of there? Please, I feel kinda stupid, it looks like I'm talking to a door»  
Bette could hear Tina's chuckle and can't avoid to smile as well. And then, with a sweet voice added, «Come on. Please? »  
The blonde woman slowly exited the cabin and found herself facing Bette. The love of her life. She found herself facing Bette. With her eyes swollen from the crying, she smiled weakly.  
«Here I am»  
«Here you are»  
Both of them exchanged a long stare, then Bette swallowed. She hated seeing her suffer. She knew the situation wasn't one of the simplest. For both of them. She knew they loved each other… But was love enough? Could love erase those awful years they spent loathing each other? It couldn't erase them. But, maybe, trying to figure out what was wrong between them could be a start. _'But I'm with Jodi, dammit!'  
_  
Bette stared at her for more seconds, but the same strange feeling she felt earlier, hit her. «Oh, fuck» she whispered, and pressed her lips on Tina's, with force. Guiding her back into the cabin she closed the door behind them, and grabbing Tina's legs, she pulled her against it. Without breaking the kiss, she started to caress her bare legs that were now closed tight around Bette's hips. Her ex-lover was wearing a really sexy little dress. It was the perfect thing right at that moment. It was making things easier, seeing what her intent was.  
«Wait, Bette wh—»  
«Shhh» Bette hushed her. The alcohol clearly was having its part in that. But it was surely what Bette's heart was asking at that very moment. Bette is always been known as a woman who didn't acted following her instinct, she always wanted to control things first and well, the alcohol was giving her a little help.  
Bette was now grinding her sex against Tina's, making her moan. Still kissing and biting the blonde's lips. Their tongues started an unbridled dance. They kissed and kissed as if there were no tomorrow. Then finally pulled out. The two of them glanced one another and no words needed. The kiss started again. This time it was even more ferocious. Bette let her tongue play with Tina's upper lip and then slowly took her way down her neck. Kissing and licking her more sensitive spot.  
Another moan left the blonde's mouth, «I- I need you… to go… go south»  
Hearing Tina's command, she complied. Supporting her with her left hand, she reached Tina's honey spot with the other one.  
Shocked about Tina's wetness, she sucked air through her teeth, «Oh my God, you're so wet for me, baby»  
She gently moved her panties to one side, and with extremely easiness slid two fingers into her and started a gentle pace. Tina immediately gasped at the act and buried her face in Bette's neck. With her fingertips pressed into her back she started riding Bette's fingers. Both of them were now panting. As Bette could feel Tina's rhythmic clenching of her core around her own fingers, letting her thump pressing against the clit, she fastened the pace and started to press harder and quicker and deeper. She could feel the blonde's fluids dripping on her hand.  
With a few more pushes, she bent her fingers and pressed against her g-spot, easily bringing her to the climax. To avoid to be heard, since they were in a public place and there was the possibility someone could enter the restroom, Tina let out a chocked moan biting Bette's shoulder.

With her fingers still in her, Bette lovingly kissed Tina. All the love she felt for her was in that kiss. When the kiss broke, the younger woman was still panting and quivering. Holding Bette tightly, reality one more time hit her and she started sobbing.  
«What? »  
«Why did you do this? » she said, talking with her head still buried in Bette's neck.  
«Tina look at me»  
«No»  
«Tee? »  
«What! » the blonde snapped and quickly looked at Bette, «You're doing this to punish me? Well, please stop, because it fucking hurts» she kept sobbing. They weren't holding each other anymore.  
«I just couldn't stop myself» she said, her voice just a little higher than a whisper.  
«Earlier this evening you seemed to be a lot sure of yourself»  
«And what if I was wrong? »  
«We can't do this. Not in this way… As you said, you are with Jodi. I just feel like an asshole for doing this to Jodi. I know how it feels like, I… I don't want to be like this»  
«I know» Bette sighed.  
«So what? »  
«I don't know»  
Tina snorted. «Great! » she exited the cabin and started to freshen herself, «Just go to Jodi. She's surely waiting for you. She may have doubts and decide come in here. I don't want her to see us like this, here, together»  
«I told her I needed a drink»  
«Well, it's taking a little too much for being just a drink»  
«You're right» she gave her a last glance, «I'm just scared»  
«I can't make decision for you. I am with no one, as I said. You are the one who is in a relationship. I just can't live it this way. It's your choice. I am not pushing you. God, I don't want this. I don't want to break you and Jodi»  
«What if I want to? »  
«Do you? »  
Bette was in the intent to speak, when suddenly someone entered the restroom. The two of them almost panicked, when they saw Shane approaching them.  
«Um, guys… Uh, we were a little concerned. And Bette you are supposed to – quote – _need a drink_»  
«I know… I was a little concerned about Tina myself. Um, I'll go then»  
«Don't worry. I won't say anything» Shane whispered to Bette. «I'll see ya at the table. And don't forget the drink» she suggested.  
«What's going on? » Shane asked to Tina. Even though she already knew what it was.


End file.
